The confessional reveals the banality of sin more than anything. When you're about to make a terrible confession that tears you up inside, then finally telling a man exactly how you missed the mark, and he responds in a bored tone. Not scandalized, not angry, just another confession out of his three hours. It really humbles you realizing how stupid and boring the sins you were fretting over actually are. I loved this story and I shed tears at the end. Thank you Trantor Publishing!
"It was instead of the thought." -> This feels like half a sentence, though it might be intentional.
Okay story overall; the strongest part was at the beginning, where our character manages to break his computer / phone addiction in flashback, and I quite liked the description of heads with an invisible chain pulling them downward...I say, typing from a computer I have no intention of ever giving up.
Also decent ending, which (going by the title) is the more literal version of the Blessed Virgin Mary distracting Mephistopheles so that angels can save Faust's soul, in accordance with God's exact promise not to interfere with Mephistopheles' temptation of Faust while the latter was alive. I'd be curious if there are any other parallels to the Faust legend in your story (besides making a pact with a demon, I assume) that I missed.
You might like John C Wright's take on the same idea: https://www.scifiwright.com/samples/fic/phantasmagoria/fate-of-fortune/. Its twist on the granting of wishes is much like yours: the wish will be granted, but at the cost of a sin. You can have a million dollars, but if you accept it, you'll be a thief. You can have a story that makes you world famous, but if you publish it, you'll be a plagiarist.
Clever and thought-provoking. This line in particular sums up the piece's theme perfectly:
"These people wanted nothing more than to burn and to take everyone they could with them. Upon their faces, I saw every malformed picture I had ever drawn. They were no longer people. They were things pretending to be people. And worse than that, I knew I was no different."
The confessional reveals the banality of sin more than anything. When you're about to make a terrible confession that tears you up inside, then finally telling a man exactly how you missed the mark, and he responds in a bored tone. Not scandalized, not angry, just another confession out of his three hours. It really humbles you realizing how stupid and boring the sins you were fretting over actually are. I loved this story and I shed tears at the end. Thank you Trantor Publishing!
Oof, that penance tho really drives it home though doesn’t it?
Hell is to give man what he wants.
"It was instead of the thought." -> This feels like half a sentence, though it might be intentional.
Okay story overall; the strongest part was at the beginning, where our character manages to break his computer / phone addiction in flashback, and I quite liked the description of heads with an invisible chain pulling them downward...I say, typing from a computer I have no intention of ever giving up.
Also decent ending, which (going by the title) is the more literal version of the Blessed Virgin Mary distracting Mephistopheles so that angels can save Faust's soul, in accordance with God's exact promise not to interfere with Mephistopheles' temptation of Faust while the latter was alive. I'd be curious if there are any other parallels to the Faust legend in your story (besides making a pact with a demon, I assume) that I missed.
You might like John C Wright's take on the same idea: https://www.scifiwright.com/samples/fic/phantasmagoria/fate-of-fortune/. Its twist on the granting of wishes is much like yours: the wish will be granted, but at the cost of a sin. You can have a million dollars, but if you accept it, you'll be a thief. You can have a story that makes you world famous, but if you publish it, you'll be a plagiarist.
Love Herbert West, looking forward to it.
Clever and thought-provoking. This line in particular sums up the piece's theme perfectly:
"These people wanted nothing more than to burn and to take everyone they could with them. Upon their faces, I saw every malformed picture I had ever drawn. They were no longer people. They were things pretending to be people. And worse than that, I knew I was no different."
Incredible.