Chapter Twenty Four: Adam Mason
I knew Daniel wasn’t coming back. As the rain began to lighten, I realized too much time had passed. Either he was dead or captured, and it didn’t matter which. I was too weak to search for him. And he wasn’t going to be making it back in time.
The feeling was deep in my bones. The pain had receded, but I wasn’t getting any stronger. I was getting weaker. Don’t know if it was just my time, or if the beating my body took pushed things over the edge. It didn’t matter much. I was dying, and I knew it.
Was I scared? Course I was scared. But I was more sad. I wouldn’t get to speak to Daniel again. I wouldn’t get to do much of anything because my time was finally up. But to tell you the truth, I don’t know what I would’ve done, even if God descended from the heavens and gave me a little more time.
After all the anger and sadness and despair, all I wanted now was to know my life had meant something. Did any of what we did today mean anything? Were things any better because I had lived and died? Maybe. But it was hard to see from my throne of rubble overlooking a devastated city. I wasn’t ready for that. I wasn’t ready to face God and have him tell me I wasted everything.
But I was done, and there was nothing else I could do.
In my blurred vision, I saw three people descending from the sky. The Blue Justice landed not far from me. Atomic Girl kept herself and Yellow Bolt aloft with purple energy, and they hovered overhead while blue spandex walked up to me.
“You’re a little late to the party,” I coughed. “What held you up?”
“Our boss didn’t want to risk us getting killed and humiliating him.”
“Tch.” I snorted. “So, why are you here now? Saw what went down? Did he send you to finish the job?”
“Not exactly.” The Blue Justice scratched at his arm. I noticed that his watch from last time was missing. “The entire area is still marked as dangerous. They’re holding back rescue crews because they’re afraid of more fighting.”
“Well, there ain’t no more fighting here. It’s over.” I tried to straighten up. “And here I am, all outta steam. If you got a grudge from me knocking you silly into a skyscraper, I can’t do anything about it. So go ahead, getting killed by City 57’s top hero isn’t a bad way to go out.”
The Blue Justice kneeled over me. “Where’s Daniel Peterson?” he asked.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Gone. Probably dead for all I know. Last I saw him, he was following Seattle Vance into the ASA headquarters.”
The Blue Justice nodded. He put a hand on the rubble next to me. “You’re dying, aren’t you?”
I laughed, and it hurt to laugh. “What gave it away?”
“I’m sorry.”
I tried to focus, and I looked into his eyes. And I saw pity there. Wasn’t what I expected. From what Daniel told me, he was supposed to be City 57’s biggest prick. Made me pause a little. “Save it,” I eventually told him. “I lived as I did. I don’t have regrets. So go ahead and do it.”
“We do it, and we might be able to save The Urban Defenders,” Yellow Bolt suggested. “We get to take credit for putting down Adam Mason. Walter will be able—”
“Fuck Walter,” The Blue Justice said. “I didn’t come here for Mason. I came here to save lives.”
The Blue Justice turned to the rest of the group, and I really wished Daniel could’ve seen this. Damn man acted like a superhero. It was cheesy as all hell, but I think the world needed that right now. It needs people who are willing to do good for good’s sake, and to be honest about that.
I saw The Blue Justice start giving out orders to his team to save the people trapped under buried rubble. And at once they got to work. You know what else I saw? I saw vehicles approaching in the far distance. If I had to wager a guess, The Blue Justice talked some rescue workers into actually doing their job. Or maybe he inspired them to do it.
Either way, I wasn’t about to let my presence complicate a good deed. With the last of my strength, I pushed off the ground.
I couldn’t fly anymore, so I bounded. I made three great leaps until I finally crashed on the roof of a skyscraper. From there, I had to wait until strength again to flip myself over towards the sky. I wished I still had the strength to fly up into space, but that wasn’t in the cards anymore. All I could do was wait for my last breath.
You ever think about that? We all have one waiting for us, the very last gasp of our lungs. It’s always out there somewhere, even if you’re not aware of it at the time. But I guess the one privilege of dying is that you know it’s soon. It may not be your next one, or the one after that, but it’s soon. And then it’s over.
No more pain, or so I hoped. I didn’t want to go to hell, but I didn’t know the words I would have to say to St. Peter. I didn’t even know what sins I would be judged for—and I knew I would be judged. Oblivion would be too easy, too clean. To think you get to escape all that you’ve done is wishful thinking. Nah, I knew then I would pay the price of what I reaped. In fact, I was probably paying for it now.
“Take me when you want,” I told the sky. “I’ve got nothing left in me.”
And I wished I could’ve died there. Some poignant last words are all a man like me could’ve asked for. But for whatever reason, be it divine providence or the luck of the draw, I didn’t die quite yet. I was being kept around for something. I didn’t know what. I had already bared my soul in the manner I could. I didn’t quite see the point.
But who was I to judge? Maybe there was some thought, some idea, some feeling that I was waiting for. I had a theory when I was young—forgot about it until now. I thought there was a moment people spend their lives waiting—or perhaps working—for. There’s a moment of revelation. And while maybe the world would never make sense, in fact I had long given up on that, but at least there would be a moment where everything would’ve been worth it. The purpose of your life would be fulfilled, and you could die at that moment, a happy man.
I won’t say I waited that moment for all my life because I ditched that theory the second I saw the world for what it was. But if there was ever a time, I could’ve used it right about now. A few minutes later, and I wouldn’t have the chance.
I tried going over all things I was thankful for, which was a very short list. Daniel might’ve laughed if he knew he was at the top of it. I was really sad I was dying alone. But I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. I guess the top of a skyscraper was at least better than some alleyway or the river. Wasn’t what I expected. Much better view and all that.
Ah man, it was getting harder and harder to think. Everything just seemed to mush. It was like I was going to sleep. Thought after thought just seemed to turn to mush. In a roundabout way, I think we were made to go to sleep to ease our deaths. We spend every night of our lives practicing for the long one, and I think that’s a good idea.
What I felt wasn’t unfamiliar to me, and that was comforting in its own way. I wasn’t really in pain anymore. I was drifting in and out. Each time I thought this was it, but I took another breath and some fire flickered back in me. But it was going out, and it would soon go out.
I really wished people were taken away when they die. I didn’t like the thought of my body rotting atop this skyscraper in City 57. I didn’t like the idea of rotting at all. I wish I would just vanish in a puff of smoke, taken to somewhere else where I wouldn’t decompose. Or maybe not even that, just that I wouldn’t be in City 57 anymore. I wished I was laid to rest on a tree somewhere on a green hill overlooking a valley. Something peaceful.
The thought of just continuing in this world disgusted me. But maybe that was for the best. I had blood on these hands. And until I got new hands, these ones deserved to stay down here for everything they did. They deserved to rot away and turn to dust. Better than that to sully whatever else was out there.
I can’t tell you how much I wanted that, for anything else to be better out there. I would’ve given anything to see that world. Not even enter it, because I knew I didn’t deserve that. But to know there was something more than this. To see it with my own eyes, I would’ve given anything. Ah well, I was going to find out soon enough.
Each breath was harder to draw. It was nearing the time. It wasn’t like suffocating like I thought it would. It was more like letting go.
How I desperately wanted someone to be here, to hold my hand as I went. But Daniel wasn’t here. I couldn’t even summon the strength to remember his face. It was all slipping away, too fast, too much. I was going, and I didn’t want to go just yet.
I forgot when the rain stopped. But it did. The dark clouds in the sky had long turned grey, but I didn’t really realize that until they finally parted. I saw the sun peek behind those clouds, and it shone down on me.
I grinned as I finally realized something. I couldn’t hear anything anymore, not even the rain. Everything was quiet.
And I was happy.
Link to Chapter Twenty Five